Happy Fucking Summer, XOXO Kira. PS: Fuck Your Fireworks/Gunshots/Patriotism

Happy Fucking Summer from Kira Scarlet

After I realized that today is a Monday, not a Sunday, meaning that I need to post a thing, I was going to wish everyone a happy Fourth of July, because in general that is what one does on this holiday I am not particularly fond of.

However, since my neighbors have spent today setting off illegal fireworks that set all the car alarms off and alternatively sound like gunshots and screaming cats, I’m throwing any plans to wish anyone a good day today out the window. My dog is currently cowering under my feet, and as far as I’m concerned, anyone who scares my puppy is an asshole. It feels like our apartment is under attack.

So! I’m wishing you, hypothetical internet reader, a happy summer filled with topless women and whiskey and campfires and cut-offs and camping trips to locations that are very, very quiet and far removed from fireworks, small children and all the other patriotic nonsense this holiday brings out.

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