Why hello there and happy December!
It’s good to be back after my unexpectedly long hiatus (hello there concussion and appendix removal, you both suck and I miss derby). I’ve got a bunch of new, exciting pieces up in ye old Scarlet Tentacle shop, so if you want some sexy handmade goodness in your stocking or under (up?) your tree this year, then mosey on over. Here’s a quick preview of all the relatively new and SUPER exciting pieces you can find in the shop:
There are three of these designs and they are all awesome. Seriously. I mean, what says Happy Fucking Christmas better than curvy pin up girls dressed as Santa, a Christmas Tree and/or as some kind of candy can peddler? Right? These pretties come as individual cards or as a box set of three. If you order the box set of three holiday themed pin up girl cards, shipping is free and via USPS Priority Mail. Two of these three are also available as gift tags, which, if I do say so myself, look fucking awesome.
There are four of these cards, an individual design for saying Congratulations, Happy Birthday, Thank You and, my personal favorite, Get Well Soon (pin up Nurse Ratchet is going to fuck you uuuup). These lovelies also come as individual cards or as a box set of three. Again, if you order the box set, shipping is free and via USPS Priority Mail.
In the same vein as the rest of my coloring books for adults, these books are perfect for all of the perverted coloring-book enthusiasts in your life and/or anyone else you want to shock or awe. From the Official Description:
Santa Baby – A Naughty Christmas Carol Themed Coloring Book for Adults features seven sexy, sexy pin-up girls inspired by my favorite Christmas carols, all dangerously curvy and delightful.
Oh Christmas Tree
Frosty the Snowman
Deck the Halls
Baby, It’s Cold Outside
Meet Me Under the Mistletoe
Quite possibly the ultimate holiday-themed gag gift, clearly this coloring book is the utterly appropriate gift of choice to give in those hard-to-shop-for situations, like in your workplace’s anonymous holiday gift exchange (can’t you imagine your boss’ look of delight when the lucky recipient unwraps this?), to your straight-laced conservative uncle who needs to lighten up a little and to your horny roommate who hasn’t gotten laid in who knows how long.
4. Beefcake: A Coloring Book for Adults featuring tons of sexy dudes.
This exercise in ridiculosity is selling like hotcakes (beefcakes? hah!), so get yours for you and yours.
Fun fact: The title for this coloring book comes from a question my dear grandmother asked me when I was in college. I hadn’t told my family about anyone I’d dated for quite some time, so my (very prim, very ladylike, very old) grandmother took it upon herself to clarify things for the rest of the family in the middle of one of my cousin’s babyshowers: “Kira, dear, why aren’t you dating anyone? Do you dislike dating, or do you just not like beef?” I was so horrified by the mental image that statement conjured that all I could do was stare at her, slack-jawed, and missed the best way I could have possibly come out to my family. “Grandma, I do like beef, but I also really love fish tacos, too.” So! Beefcake coloring books. Yes. You should get one.
5. The Vagina Dentata
Oh yes. You’ve seen it floating around on the internet (seriously, these photos did some rounds, jeez) and here it is, straight from my embroidery-happy hands to your home, it’s the embroidered vagina dentata you’ve always wanted. Really.
6. There’s also a ton of new patterns and kits available in the handily named Embroidery Patterns/Kits section of the Scarlet Tentacle shop, so if patterns or kits are your thing or the thing of someone on your holiday gift list, do go check them out. There are also a ton of new prints in various sizes making their way through the long process that is setting up a listing on Etsy, so check those often as well.
Don’t want to order over the internet? If you’re local to the Bay Area or feel like taking a trip, I’ll be vending at Renegade Handmade’s San Francisco Holiday Show on December 17th and 18th. I’ll have all of these pieces in person, plus a bunch of other stuff, like a plethora of naughty & nice felt ornaments, non .PDF embroidery patterns, more DIY kits than you can shake a stick at, etc. The show is at the San Francisco Concourse Exhibition Center and it will be chock full of amaaaaazing crafters and artists and, aside from stopping by my booth and saying hi and marveling at how impossibly awkward I am in person & listening me tell you about how you must join Reckless Rollers, it’s a perfect place and time to do all your of your holiday shopping.
Also! Speaking of craft fairs — a huge, big, cuddly thank you to all the folks who came to visit my booth at Bazaar Bizarre over the past weekend. You all made the whole weekend worth it (yes, even you folks who stood in the middle of my booth and glared at me and the wall of embroidered vaginas hanging behind. You totally cracked me up.).
And! To conclude what turned into a rather lengthy advertisement for my new pieces and since ER visits and hospital stays are expensive, use the coupon code APPENDECTOMY for 10% off your order. Hooray for emergency appendectomies!